I have had a bit of time for introspection lately. I have been looking at the places in my life that could use some straightening and smoothing not only for my personal happiness but the happiness of my girls and my husband. Each new year I make an enormous list of the things I am going to accomplish and change, things that on paper seem so very simple, some are difficult but most are simple. Things that maybe to some don't sound like a big deal, but when I don't follow through with these things I feel smaller. Smaller because they were not lofty, smaller because many were lofty and smaller because maybe I told some people that I was going to do them and the truth is, I had every intention of doing them, but just didn't continue, didn't follow through. So this untouched enormous list that has been screaming "You are failing Jen!" is paralyzing me instead of motivating me. So I looked over my list and I decided to chuck it! Tear it up and Throw it on the GROUND!!!
I am not giving up all hope of accomplishing these goals. I am not letting myself off the hook. Instead I am going to pick one thing at a time. Today I chose to try to cut my own hair. BAD IDEA! But I tried it and it was fun and now Paul is coming home early so I can have a professional take a look at it. In a minute, I am going to paint an armoire red. And I don't feel paralyzed anymore. So much of my time is wasted on regretting instead of doing. So no more 5 page to do lists. Just a moment at a time of not wasting my life.
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2 comments:
Jen this is inspiring! When I was younger I would pick a phrase as my resolution and use it as a year's motto and rallying cry. You are inspiring me to be a better woman. I LOVE you!!
So glad there's someone else out there with this same problem.
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